Breaking All the Rules novel Chapter 33

I look up from my Frappuccino on the black iron table outside the café. "I'm trying, Jess." I wasn't in my room even though I wanted to be, and I wasn't crying. What more does she expect from me?

"Wow, it must be bad, you're not even arguing with me." She reaches over and grabs my hand and squeezes. "I've never had my heart broken but I know you will get through this. You're hot and tons of guys are going to be begging to take you out."

"I don't want to go out." I take a sip of my Frappuccino. My hair was in a messy bun for the third time this week, much to Jess's distaste, but I was too depressed to fix my hair. She just better be happy I bothered to put on make-up this morning. She's already told me how much she hates my grey sweats and t-shirt. I never used to dress like this in public but lately I really couldn't care less. It took all my energy just to get out of bed so I really didn't want to waste an hour putting on make-up and fixing my hair.

"I know but don't think for a second that he hasn't already replaced you. I don't mean to sound harsh I'm just being honest. I mean this is Ian we're talking about and you know he's not going to go long without getting laid, it's just who he is. And you are someone who hates casual sex that's just who you are. You're never going to be happy with just hooking up and that's okay. I know I give you a lot of crap for it and I'm sorry but it's actually pretty cool that you're like that. I know you love him, but you'll never be happy just hooking up with him and he's never going to commit to you so it's best you find someone who will. You deserve that."

I stare at her, wondering what just happened to my best friend. "Wow, that was deep, Jess."

She grinned. "I have my moments, now stop feeling sorry for yourself and crying over that douche and find you a man who's going to love you back."

"There's my Jess." I laugh. She's right, she's always right, no matter how much I want Ian to be that guy he's never going to be. I need to just accept that and move on.

"Do it in your own time, Kamdyn, I'm not going to keep pressuring you, I just hate seeing you like this."

"I know, I hate feeling like this too."

I haven't seen Ian in over a week which is the longest we've ever gone without seeing one another. It felt weird not seeing him almost every day. He hasn't texted me either and it hurt. Was he really able to forget me so quickly? Did I not mean more to him than that? I thought at the very least he considered me a friend, but I guess I was wrong.

I'm coming out of my Pilates class, my hair up in a ponytail, black yoga pants and black cropped tank top. The cool air feels good against my heated skin. My body aches in its familiar way and I feel so much better. My heart isn't completely healed but it's getting there, I'm getting there. I'm walking down the side walk, my yoga mat strap over my shoulder when I hear someone yell my name. I turn to see Nick and Ian across the street. Nick waves before he and Ian run across the street. "Hey, imagine seeing you here." Nick says grinning.

Ian looks at me and nods, keeping his hands in his front pockets. Ian knows when my Pilate classes are so it can't be that big of a surprise to see me here. He used to pick me up and take me to grab a bite to eat all the time. "Yeah, I take Pilates here three times a week." I tell

Nick.

Nick looks at Ian. "You do? Wow, I didn't know that." Ian shoots him a look which Nick

just grins at. "So, what are you doing? Want to grab something to eat with us?"

"Oh. Um...." I tried to think of an excuse, any excuse. Ian hasn't even said a word to me and hasn't texted me so I'm sure he doesn't really want me around.

"Come on, it will give us some time to catch up. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." Nick leans in and gives me a hug. "We miss you."

I smile. "I miss you too."

"Then start coming over more." Nick says as though it's that easy.

I smile at him. "So where do you guys want to eat?"

"You pick." Nick says.

"There is a nice little Italian restaurant around the corner, it's pretty good."

"Okay, sounds good." Nick says falling in step next to me, Ian walks behind us, still not

saying anything.

"That's not true." Ian says. "I haven't been too busy to text you, I could never be too busy to text you I just....." He rubs the back of his neck. "I didn't know what to say and after you left I wasn't sure you wanted me to text you anymore."

That admission caught me by surprise. "No, that's.....of course I wanted you to text me. I thought that you were mad at me."

"No, why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know, because I left the way I did. I'm sorry about that it's just....I didn't know what to say to you after that. This is new for me too."

"I'm not mad at you, Kami, I'm mad at myself, I shouldn't have kissed you it's just so

hard not to."

"I kissed you back, Ian, it's okay."

"I miss you." His gaze is so intense I have to look away.

Just hearing him say he misses me makes my stomach flip. "I miss you too. A lot."

"So let's not go that long without talking again." He tells me.

"Sounds good to me." I give him a smile and I'm the happiest I've been in days.

After we eat we walk to the bakery down the street and get doughnuts. Nick decides to get a dozen and we sit at a table to eat them. "So, Kami, you want to come hang out at our house tonight? We're playing poker again and if you're there we can play strip poker, so it won't be weird since there's a girl there." Nick winks at me.