Demons From the Past novel Chapter 15

You wake up every morning to fight the same demons that left you so tired the night before, and that, my love, is bravery.

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|Verena|

"Try that one more time." Nate instructed as he advanced towards me.

I aimed a kick to his chest. I wasn't even surprised when he stopped the blow smoothly, his slim fingers wrapped around my ankle as he yanked forward causing me to lose my balance. My body started plummet towards the ground.

His arms snaked around my waist as he caught me just seconds before I collided with the hard gym floor.

I gave him a scowl as he steadied me back to my feet. "This is pointless," I huffed.

Nate rolled his eyes, "You're aiming too high. You're short, it takes longer for your legs to reach my chest or neck when you kick, giving me enough time to defend myself. If someone attacks you, aim for their groin or knees. It would be more effective"

I frowned, "I'm not short, you're just tall." I said defensively.

He gave me a half smirk, showing off his dimple on one side.

My heart skipped a beat.

Get a grip Verena.

"You know, you can use your height to your advantage." He advised but his tone was slightly teasing. I knew he found my retorts amusing, "Bigger size means less agility. You're fast, you know how to handle yourself in emergencies, and you're smarter than most people, that's your advantage." Before I had time to properly bask in his compliments he continued, "But you're impulsive which makes you reckless. You don't know when to walk away so you endanger yourself."

"One of these days I'll get you Nate." I taunted.

"I'd like to see you try." He said lightly, giving me a wink.

I felt my breath lodge in my throat.

I was really starting to like this playful side of Nate.

Things between us had cleared ever since Nate had come to talk to me that day but there was a different kind of tension between us now. I didn't know what it was but I could feel it.

Whatever I'd felt for him before had only intensified when he'd told me about his past. The strength of the emotions I felt toward this man scared me at times. I'd never felt this way about a person before.

Whenever I was with him I couldn't focus on anything else, he dominated all of my senses, my mind, my breaths, my very being.

I cleared my throat loudly ridding myself of such thoughts, "Honestly, I don't really see any point of all of this anymore", I spoke softly, mostly to myself.

Ethan confessed to killing Allison and there's nothing I can do to prove it.

Everything is so complicated all of a sudden. Nothing makes sense.

"You want to quit training?" Nate asked, leaning against the wall casually with his arms crossed, but although his demeanor was casual there was no missing the intense look in his eyes.

"No!" I responded almost too quickly.

I couldn't stop training with him, not if it was the only way I could spend time with him.

I let out a shaky breath, "What I mean is that I don't think I'm quite satisfied with my training yet, so I better stick around for a while longer. . ." I tried to explain lamely.

Nate pushed himself off the wall and stalked towards me. My eyes widened as he stopped just a few inches away from me. His hand reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"Good, because there's no way I'm letting you go." He rasped, leaning towards me. His face was merely a centimeter away from mine. I could feel myself getting lightheaded from his close proximity.

"Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I didn't take her home." He murmured quietly out of no where. I could feel his warm breath fanning my face.

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as I met his gaze, his words made absolute zero sense to me.

He sighed and leaned away from me as if sensing my distress, "I meant Allison. If I didn't drop her off at her apartment that day, maybe she'd still be alive."

My eyes widened in shock at his words, "Nate, don't say that. It's not fair."

"Isn't it?" He deadpanned, "Marcus suggested that we leave her at the party, I was the one who insisted we take her home. I should've stayed with her a while longer to make sure she was safe, I could've stopped the murderer. Maybe they're right, her death is my fault."

I bought my hands up to cup his face, "Look at me Nate." I said deliberately, "It isn't your fault. Allison's death isn't your fault, your father's death isn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong, sometimes we just have to accept things no matter how ugly they are."

The agony I saw in his eyes made my heart break but I didn't stop speaking, "That's just how life is; one minute you have everything you could possibly want and the next you're being dragged down into this never ending pit of darkness. But you see, the dark isn't all that bad, once you accept it, once you stop panicking, you realize that the darkness is actually a part of you and you can't really fear something that is a part of you. You know, I've always seen darkness as an ally because it helps me hide from the things that haunt me; my own demons.

I don't know why you do this to yourself, why do you torture yourself like this? Do you think despising yourself makes things easier? Do you believe that the past would be any less painful if you hate yourself in the present? It doesn't. Trust me, it doesn't." I finished in a whisper, my eyes moving frantically over his features.

"Do you really believe Ethan did it?" Nate asked after a while of silence.

I sighed, "I don't know. Honestly? The guy terrifies me. Sometimes I think he purposefully follows me around in college to scare me."

Nate's body suddenly went rigid, he was so still that I thought he'd stopped breathing, "He didn't try to do anything, did he? I swear to God if he as much as touched you, I will make him suffer." He spat out.