Demons From the Past novel Chapter 23

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred. How did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us? That we now send our children out into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return but knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?" -One Tree Hill

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|Nate|

It was an unusually peaceful morning. Marcus and I ate our breakfast in silence. Fortunately for me Verena was still fast asleep. I'd been having a hard time facing her ever since I'd kissed her that night at the dance.

"Nate man, can I ask you something?" Marcus's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

I hummed in response.

"You know Verena's friend Skylar, right?" He prodded.

"Yeah, what about her?" I shrugged.

"Do you know if she's seeing someone?"

I wasn't exactly surprised. I knew Marcus had a slight crush on Skylar.

"You're into Skylar?" I asked giving him a teasing smirk.

"Yeah." He deadpanned, his expression serious.

My smirk dropped immediately. I studied my friend intently before speaking, "I think she has feelings for Aiden, I don't know if they're a thing or not." I told him cautiously.

His hopeful expression dropped and I immediately felt sorry for the guy.

Marcus didn't really pursue girls, he was more of a heart-breaker, but it looked like he really liked Skylar.

I could tell that Skylar was in love with Aiden. Marcus didn't really have a chance with her.

God knows how I'd feel if I found out that Verena had feelings for someone else.

I'd probably want to kill the dude.

Wait, where is this even coming from?

A ran a hand through my hair in exasperation before focusing my attention back on Marcus.

"Honestly Marcus, you're an amazing guy and Aiden's a douche, he has nothing on you."

Marcus snorted, "The only reason you don't like him is because he's close to Verena."

I clenched my jaw, "That's not true."

It's not the only reason, just one of them.

He rolled his eyes at me, "So, are you going to tell me what happened between you and Verena? What did you do this time?"

I scoffed, "What makes you think I did something?!"

"Because I know you."

I gave him a scowl. "Nothing happened."

"Then why have you been avoiding her like the plague since the past two days."

"I have not been avoiding her!" I snapped.

Marcus was about to respond but someone else beat him to it.

"Yes, you have." Verena's smooth voice cut in.

I slowly turned around to look at her. My eyes meeting with her soft brown ones.

God Damn it. She's wearing those 'Winnie the Pooh' pajamas again.

I watched as she casually walked over to the cabinets and took out a bowl and a box of cereal for herself.

For some strange reason, the fact that she'd grown so comfortable with this place pleased me.

"So, are we going to talk today, or are you going to make some lame excuse to avoid me which I'll have to pretend to believe?"

I kept my face blank, pretending that I didn't understand what she was saying.

I let out an exasperated sigh, "Look as much as I'd love to stay here and chat, I really need to get going. There's a ton of work that needs to be done at the gym."

She gave me a pointed look, "Today's Sunday, the gym's closed."

Okay. Good point.

"Yeah well, we just had some new equipment delivered and I need to set it up. Right Marc?" I looked at my friend for backup.

He just shrugged. "No, not really. It's just one treadmill and I can set it up myself. You guy's sort out whatever it is going on between the two of you."

Traitor.

"Thanks Marcus." Verena said giving him a smile.

I knew there was no getting out of this. I'd put it off for as long as I possibly could.

Marcus made a beeline for the front door and I walked towards the living room. I didn't need to turn around to know that Verena was following close behind.

Awkward silence enveloped us once we were seated on the couch. Finally, Verena cleared her throat, making some much needed noise.

"Were you ever going to talk about it?" She asked softly.

I sighed. "There's nothing to talk about really. It was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have kissed you. Forget about it." My voice came out harsher than I wanted.

The hurt look on her face immediately made me feel guilty.

She deserved better than this.

She deserved better than me.

"What if I don't want to forget Nate?" She asked, her voice soft.

"Then you're making a mistake. It's useless to dwell on things which don't matter."

I heard her sharp intake of breath at my words.

I knew I was hurting her, but I also knew that I wasn't good for her. I was the last thing she needed in her life. I had too much baggage. I had too much shit in my life and Verena shouldn't have to deal with all of that, she'd already been through so much.

"Look me in the eye and tell me it didn't matter Nate." I heard her say.

My breath caught in my throat.

I could see the dampness in her eyes, it made my heart ache.

And as much as it pained me I knew I had to do the right thing. I cared too much about her to let her get dragged into my messed up life.

The next thing I did was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. The ache in my chest seemed to intensify with every word I spoke,

"We can't be together Verena. I'm sorry."

I could practically see something inside her break when I said that. I knew she cared about me and I knew she was trying really hard to keep it together right now.

God, she was so strong.

The sound of a phone ringing pulled me out of my thoughts. She picked it up as bought it to her ear. She didn't look at me when she spoke.

"I'll be right over." She was saying.

She ended the call and got up to her feet a little unsteadily. "That was Aiden, he says he needs to talk about something important. I should go."

I found myself nodding my head.

"I'll pack my stuff and move out tomorrow." She said, her expression stoic.

I felt the color drain from my face. I quickly jumped to my feet.

No. No. NO!

"You don't have to do that. That's not what I want Verena!" I tried to argue desperately.

"No, Nate. It's what I want. This isn't about you. I just can't keep doing this, it's too hard."