BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 38

THIRTY-SEVEN

H A R R Y

I stare at her as she opens the bathroom door for me. Both of us neither spoke for a few seconds and I don't know why my feet dragged me here to see her. But she hasn't responded to my text a while ago and I really wanna talk to her so bad. It's been a few months that we haven't talked, a few months since the last time that I've seen her.

"What do you want?" She asked.

Damn if I just brought that necklace with me. It all leads to her. The necklace. The change of hair color. Her very familiar face when I saw her inside that hospital in New York. Her original brown roots showing off.

And God!

Ben!

Ben looks like me.

He could be my son!

Did I get her pregnant after that night? It was a one night stand. A one night stand I can't seem to get off my head no matter how long it has been. Why do I have a strong feeling about this? But how am I gonna say all of these to her?

"I..." I trailed off as I hold the back of my neck. "I don't know what I came here for."

Miranda didn't seem to react to it and even though I try to tell myself that I'm happy for her and Louis, it's the total opposite of what I feel. I'm not happy that they're together. That they're in a relationship. Louis doesn't date anymore. He doesn't like being committed after what happened in the past and I doubt if Louis even loves Miranda or he's just using her to get back at me and Audrey.

"You should be careful around Louis." I say. Shit. Why did I say that?

Her brows creasing. "Why would I?"

"Because--"

"He saved me from passing out on the street." She cut me off. "He took me to proper dates. He's fun to be with. He loves Ben so much. And he treats us very well. So why would I be careful around a man who loves me and my son?" She added.

Why is it hurting? Something is hurting inside of me when she said those words. It's like she's saying it to my face the things that I should've done to her and to Ben. But why does it hurt like this? It's not normal. I'm hurting.

"You don't know Louis." I warned.

"Then tell me. Tell me the things I should be worried about him." She crossed her arm over the other.

"He's never taken women seriously for so many years now. I'm sorry to say this to you. I'm just worried for you and Ben." He answered.

She chuckles humorlessly. "Now you act like you're worried for me and Ben when you were the one who pushed us out of your penthouse like we were some nasty squatters? Please. Don't be such great actor Harry. I don't need sympathy from you anymore. I've had enough of that."

"Miranda--"

"I don't care what you say to me anymore Harry. I love Louis." she cuts me off again.

It's hurting.

Why does it hurt?

No I can't be hurt about this.

"I accepted him for who and what he is just like how he accepted my past. I don't care who was before me or how many were before me, but all I know is that he loves me right now and I'm going to stay with him." She continues.

She takes a deep breath in and exhales as she stares at me. "Now if you excuse me, my man is waiting for me. Have a good night, Mr. Styles."

I watch as Miranda leaves me and walks away from me. I shake my head sideways and I just wanna scream for feeling this thing.

I'm jealous.

I am undeniably jealous.

I stand by the huge glass window and stared at the lights of London. And no matter how long I stare at it, I can't change the facts that Louis and Miranda are really together, I'm really getting married with Audrey and we are seriously having a baby.

"Honey?" I hear Audrey calling to me.

I quickly faced her and watch her as she walks closer to me. She reaches for my hand and smiled. "Everyone's leaving. Why are you still here?" She asks.

I look pass Audrey's shoulders and saw Louis getting out of the VIP Room with Miranda. They were arm in arm as they head to the staircase and they looked smiling from here. Maybe he really does love her. I could see from here the spark in Louis' eyes when he's looking at Miranda and it's totally crushing me because the way she looks at Louis, is the same way that she used to look at me.

Around two in the morning, I was still bothered about the dinner party we had a while ago, that it couldn't put me to sleep. I keep thinking about Miranda as I look at this necklace with a pendant Rose on it. I stopped and stared at it longer.

Then I realized.

I still don't know Miranda's full name not until a while ago at dinner when Louis said it. We've known each other for months now but I only know her as Miranda. I don't know her second name or if she has a second name and I don't know her surname too.

What a total dumbass of you Harry!

Now I get it.

Now I realize why it was hurting me a while ago. It's cos I know it's already too late for me to chase her, the woman I've been looking for. It was too late for me to realize that I was falling for Miranda these past few weeks even before she met Louis but I was the one stopping myself from loving her cos of Audrey.

Damn Harold Styles.

•••••

M I R A N D A

I exhaled.

Finally we're back in New York. Aside from the fact that I can't get my mind off of Harry when I was in London, Im also bothered about the fact that Audrey is pregnant and aside from her pregnancy, I have a strong feeling that Harry is slightly remembering me as the girl he fucked seven years ago but I'm still wishing he doesn't. At least he's far from me and Ben and at the same time I'm far from him, which was actually a good thing for now.

These days that have passed by after having that private dinner party with those A-listers, rumors has it going that Louis and I are officially publicly known. I wasn't bothered about it cos Louis told me not to worry but those fans who are still on track about some updates about the boys are the ones making me worry.

For myself, yes.

I've read some harsh comments about me that I'm not good enough for Louis cos I'm just a waitress but some are nice enough to say that Louis and I make a good couple and that being a waitress isn't a shameful job.

As much as I want to waste my time about those people who only does nothing but to destroy me, I'd rather spend time on protecting Ben from the worst to come once the fans will know and see him.

"Mommy?" Ben walks into my room.

"Oh hey baby."

Ben quickly jumps on top of my lap and looks at me innocently. "People have been coming to my school." He says.

"People? What kind of people?" I asked.

"With huge cameras. They take photos of me all the time right outside the school campus." He says.

He placed his hand below my spine and walked me to his office. Niall looked so worried of me and I don't know why people are outside the restaurant. He shuts the doorand his office and offered me to take a seat. I sat down and he sits right across the chair from where I am.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Is Ben okay?"

I nod. "Of course. Why?"

"How do I say this.." he throws his head back and forth before pulling it up to face me again.

"You've been followed around by the paparazzi secretly these days and now tons of people know where you live, where you go to work, where Ben's school is and every little thing about you."

"What?" I spit.

He looked guilty and sorry.

"No wonder Ben has been asking me last night about people with huge cameras right outside his school that's been following him around. They didn't go that far!" I exclaimed.

Niall sighs. "They already did."

"Fuck." I cursed.

"I think this issue between you and Louis is a really big catch to the media and to the public, most especially to the fans who still google about us. Since Louis hasn't been into a proper relationship for years, I think this topic will sell. Plus, you've got a son and this scope is huge for them." Niall tells me.

I'm not worried about myself at all. I'm much more worried for Ben. He's still six. I don't want him to get mobbed by crazy fans who hates me for dating Louis. I don't want the paps surrounding my little boy and asking him rubbish things that I can't seem to adherent and accept.

"What about Ben?" I asked. "Don't tell me he's going to get mobbed by people those he doesn't know? How is he going to live his childhood? By hiding?"

"You should've thought about that before getting into a relationship with Louis. But don't worry, I'm sure Louis is doing some things right now to protect you and Ben. He'll make sure you're both safe."

I sigh heavily as I push my hair off my face. I stand as I walk in circles. I noticed that Niall was has been staring at me the entire time and the room was dead silent.

"What stories have the media wrote about Ben?" I asked Niall.

"I read a few a while ago. They said Ben looks like Harry and a few were wondering who's Ben's father is, they think you're only using Louis cos you can't get Harry now since he's already about to be married."

"That's absolute rubbish!" I exclaimed.

"I'm not using Louis. I love him and I hate how those people say things against me that they don't even know about!" I breathe.

"Hey relax. I'm sure Louis knows that you love him. We all know you do. Don't worry about it. Worry about Ben."

I sigh again. "I am worried about him. He's still too young for this. For all of these actually."

What if the media will find out that Harry is Ben's father?

Oh god!

What did I get myself into?

This is a huge trouble for me.