BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 44

FORTY-THREE

Those words and yelling conversations I had with Harry yesterday is still ringing against my ear. I can't believe he finally found out about the truth and it ended up not well. We fought like we didn't have tomorrow and I yelled at him out of disrespect. I was also offended by the things he said but I couldn't stop thinking more about the future that holds for me and Ben. Harry hasn't contacted me yet and he said he's on his way back to England because of Audrey.

To be honest....

I was hurt.

I was really really hurt.

I was hurt cos I expected Harry would choose me and Ben over Audrey and their upcoming child. It was very pathetic of me to think that selfishly but you can't blame me. I expected he'd be here for us more and that he'll cancel his marriage with Audrey. I thought he'll take a few months off from marrying Audrey when she is ready enough to accept Ben.

But who am I kidding?

It was only meant to be a one night stand, Miranda. A one night stand that didn't mean to get you pregnant by Harry Styles. One sinful and lustful night that I should've gotten over with right now but it's all coming back to me as I think of it on how Harry said it.

I take my necklace from the side table drawer and just stared at it. I've been on this bed for the entire day and I didn't go to work cos there were an entire fleet of media and fans trying to ask me about Ben, Louis and the relationship between Ben and Harry.

Louis...

I have a loving boyfriend.

Louis loves me. Dearly.

Louis accepted me with all the broken pieces left in my life.

Louis accepted Ben.

Louis accepted all of me.

But why am I still chasing Harry? I thought I've gotten over the feeling of being in love with him, I thought this was just some infatuation, that it was just a misunderstanding between me and him but now that he knows the truth why is my heart aching for Harry?

Why is my heart needing for Harry? Needing for his attention? And care? And love? Not only towards Ben but also for me. A part of me wants him to choose us between Audrey but now I know how he loves her so much.

I thought I wasn't going to think this way, that when Harry will find out in the future, I'll be mature enough to do it for Ben but why do I don't want him to marry Audrey? I'm being selfish but their child must also have a father.

I sigh.

I wonder how Audrey will react to this once Harry will tell her. I wonder how the world will comment about this once it'll come out. I wonder how my life will be now that Harry knows he's Ben's father. I wonder how Ben will cope up with this sudden change, with the sudden truth. I wonder how Audrey will treat Ben too.

I have so many things that's going on inside my head that I worry about all the time after confessing to Harry yesterday, and it's endless. It keeps on haunting me even when I'm asleep.

I don't want Audrey and Harry to take Ben away from me. I don't want the court to think that I can't raise my child on my own cos I'm just a waitress. I don't want them to take my son from me. I will never allow that.

Ben is mine.

Suddenly my phone rings.

Louis calling...

I sigh as I cave in.

"Hey love. You haven't been answering my calls today." Louis says right away.

I take a deep breath in.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah." I answered softly. "Im fine."

"Harry came around the studio today. He talked to me about you. And mostly about Ben." Louis states.

I take a deep breath in.

"What did he say?" I asked softly.

"He said he wants the five of us to meet up and personal." Louis answered.

"Five?" I asked.

"You, me, Audrey, him and Ben."

I remained quiet.

"Louis..." I call out weakly. "I'm so scared. I'm so scared that they might take Ben away from me, that they might have full custody. I'm so scared that Ben will love spending more time with Harry and Audrey than with me. I'm so scared that my own son will abandon me. Louis Im so scared." I began to cry as I cover my mouth.

"Hey hey. Don't think about things that are way overboard. Harry's not gonna take Ben away from you, he promised me he won't and I won't let him. I know him and he's not gonna do that to you."

I exhale heavily as I wipe my tears from my cheeks. "I just want you here with me right now." I whimper.

"I'm so sorry for not being around with you. I'll book a flight to New York right now. I'm coming for you love." He tells me.

I slightly smiled.

"Have you tried talking to Ben about Harry?" Louis asked.

I shake my head. "Not yet. I can't seem to.... Find the right words on how to say it to a six year old." I laugh humorlessly as my tears kept falling.

"Why do you sound so scared?" He asks.

"Because they're rich, Louis. The court will give Harry full custody over Ben cos he can support our son way better than I can and--"

"I won't let him take this to court. He can't go that far." He cuts me off.

My lips are trembling and I know this sounds selfish of me but you can't blame me for feeling this way. I've raised Ben with all I have and sacrificed a lot of things for him, I ain't gonna let Harry and Audrey take my place as Ben's parent. I'm still the mother. I brought him out of this world from my womb and I've been with him for seven years. Ben only belongs to me and never to them. Definitely not to Audrey.

"I'll do what I can if Harry files for full custody over Ben." Louis adds.

I have a breathy whimper.

"I won't leave you Miranda. I love you and Ben so much. So please, I don't want you to think of things that aren't suppose to make you worry. Take a rest and get your mind off of these issues that clouds you up. Alright?"

I nod as I wipe my tears.

"I love you so much. I'll be there in a few hours." He tells me.

I nod again. I remained quiet.

"I love you." He repeats, making sure I heard him.

I smiled tight-lipped. "I love you too Louis."

He chuckles.

"Now that's my woman!" His voice raises happily. "Cheer up babe. Daddy's going home." He teases.

I softly laugh as I wipe my tears off my cheeks. "I love you." I repeated because I know I mean it. From the bottom of my heart, I know I love Louis. I know.

"I know you love me. Love you so much more Miranda." He answers seriously.

•••••

A constant ring comes by the doorbell one Sunday morning. I was busy looking for Ben's clothes while he runs down the stairs to open the front door.

She giggles like a little bitch. "That's so funny of you. You were thinking I'd do this to make you jealous? Honey, trust me. Harry would never take you seriously. He never did. He wouldn't choose you over me. What a loss would that be on his part."

Suddenly I see Ben running out from behind her and poured the entire orange juice over Audrey's head as she squeals loudly inside my house.

She continues to scream. "Why you little mutt! You little fucker!"

I quickly ran towards Ben and pulled him away from Audrey before she could do something to my son. She stands from her chair and stares at us angrily. I quickly wrapped my arms around my son while I stare at Audrey angrily.

"You don't have the right to call my son like that. If you're forgetting, you're inside my house. You're under my roof and my rules. I can call the cops on you." I taunted.

She laughs. "Call the cops? I came here very nicely to invite you on my wedding with Harry. Then your stupid fucking son poured some orange fucking juice on me!"

I arched an eyebrow. "Be ashamed of yourself for saying such words before an innocent kid."

She takes a deep breath in and I'm worried about what she'll do to Ben. I wonder if she knows the truth. If Harry told her already cos I don't think this is a great encounter for her and Ben.

"You're ugly!" Ben raised his voice at Audrey. "You're not as pretty as my mom! Your face is fake! You're not pretty without those make up on!"

I tried not to laugh.

"Ben. That's enough." I cover his mouth.

Audrey shakes her head. "Now I know where your son got such sickening and very irritating attitude."

She grabbed her purse and stomped her feet towards the foyer as she slams the front door before she left us.

I slightly release Ben from my arms and he faced me.

"Are you mad at me for doing that to her, mom?" He asked.

I squat down before him. "Why did you do that to her honey? You know it was a bad thing to do."

"I know." He pouts. "But she was calling you names. She was saying very bad stuff about you. And I don't like her, mom. She's marrying uncle Harry and I don't want her to marry him."

I kiss Ben's forehead. Me too Ben. I don't want her to marry Harry.

"Didn't I tell you to dry yourself up?" I asked him.

He smiled. "You're not mad at me mom? That I did that on her?"

I shake my head. "You did a very good job on defending your mother!"

Ben giggles cutely as he bites the tip of his fingers.

"Now high five!" I smiled at him and he does what I tell him.

I smacked his ass. "Now go upstairs and get change Benedict."

He runs up to his room and yells to me he loves me very dearly.

I pulled my phone out from my pocket.

Me: Your fiancée came over my house unexpectedly today and handed me your wedding invitation. She said some things about me that Ben heard of and he didn't like it. Your son just poured some orange juice on your Audrey. No worries, I'm sure it won't stain her furry coat.

Harry: What?! Audrey came over in New York without telling me? What things did she say to you?

Me: Why don't you ask her what things she said against me cos I'm sure she'll lie about it and you'll believe her anyways. But I won't be attending your wedding. Ben doesn't want to go and I don't think I'd fit in. I'm just a WAITRESS. Right?

Harry: Why do you sound like you're mad at me when I haven't done anything to you?

I rolled my eyes at my phone and I don't know why I was mad at him too.