BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 53

FIFTY-TWO

M I R A N D A

I feel Harry's hands holding on my curves and I actually like what it's doing to me but I need to push it away. I need not to get tempted by it. He's giving me massive, and I mean massive heat with just one touch and to think his hands aren't even moving yet but my heart feels like jumping out from my chest.

"W-why?" I croaked.

"Because I wanna see you. I wanna talk to you about something."

He slowly spins me around and made me face him. My head moved up to Harry and he's really pretty damn tall.

"About?" I asked.

"Us."

I gulped.

"There was never an us Harry." I answered him.

"Seven years ago, there might have been if you gave it a chance." He debates with me.

I sigh.

I pull myself away from him. I brush my hair off my face and I try to sink in what he just said to me, there might have been an us if I gave it a chance.

A chance?

He's really talking to me about chances. He's really talking to me this right now. Why does he always ask me things when I'm not ready?

"You confuse me." I spit.

He just stares at me.

"First you tell me I don't mean anything to you. You tell me you're sorry cos you led me on. And now you wanna talk about us." I added.

"And what in hell did you mean by chance Harry? Tell me about it cos I think I missed that portion of what you're actually trying to say right now. You had your chance when you saw me again at the hospital but you didn't even recognize who I was."

"That was after seven years and your hair color changed. But I knew I've met you somewhere. I even told you that you looked familiar. If you didn't leave me that morning. We could've been together Rose." He says.

My brows creasing. "Harry."

He just stared at me.

"Why are you talking to me about this right now? You know what, you're so weird. You watch me outside my house and you walk your way here to my home in the middle of the night just to tell me about this? But why? Why Harry?" I demanded an answer.

"Because I can't take it anymore!"

He silenced me.

He can't take what anymore? I mentally asked myself.

Both of us went quiet for a while and I don't know what Harry is trying to say to me but my heart rate isn't beating normally. We were just looking at each other and we were still insanely silent. My heart isn't ready for any of this.

"I should've realized that I felt something for you when I met you. I shouldn't have stopped myself from falling in love with you. I shouldn't have lied to myself." He begins to say.

I take a deep breath in. "Harry..."

He tries to reach for me but I push his hand away. "Don't do this to me." I say.

"Don't do what to you?" He asked.

"Please. If you're trying to ruin me, by doing this, please don't. I don't know what you're trying to put up but I'm begging you to stop whatever you're planning on saying to me." I tell him.

"Miranda I've loved you first." He muffles softly.

I stare at him and those words felt like music to my ears but he isn't allowed to tell me that. He can't say that. He isn't allowed to say those things to me cos that will only complicate things even more. He knows I've loved him before and now he tells me he loved me first.

Harry actually admitted that he loved me. Harry loved me and this isn't a lie. I'm not hallucinating because this is actually happening right now. Harry just told me he loves me.

He loved me.

No, he's making my heart confuse. I love Louis. I shouldn't feel hopeful about this just cos he said he loves me. He shouldn't make my heart feel this way, but why does he make me feel like this? Harry makes me unhealthy. He makes me want to hope again for something between us.

But I shouldn't be confused.

I shouldn't be doubting my love for Louis. I should choose and stick with Louis because he's been the one who's been here with me. He was the one who stayed when Harry pushed me away. He was the only guy who accepted the entire me. He was the guy who accepted my past and Ben.

"Isn't it funny, you can finally relate to your own songs now." I tell him.

He didn't laugh at my joke and not even smiled a single bit.

"If I only knew earlier that you were that woman I slept with years ago, I should've taken the shot." He says.

Don't listen to Harry's words, Miranda. This shouldn't bother you. This shouldn't make you feel confused. This shouldn't make your heart doubt.

"Well you've lost your shot." I spit.

"I know. I was so stupid not to recognize that you and Rose looked the same. If I only knew I would've..." He trails off.

He exhales. "I would've chosen you instead of Audrey."

My eyes widened.

Heart don't give in. I mentally whisper.

"You don't know how long I've been searching for you. You don't know how much I've been wanting to see you again. You were the only woman that made me feel like what I felt for you after that night. It's like you casted a spell on me. I was under your control but I can't find you. I just don't know where to start because you were gone." He says.

I exhale. "Enough Harry."

He walks closer to me and holds my arms. "Rose please."

"No." I said firm.

"Do you love Louis more than me?"

I look up to him and even though the kitchen was dark I know he was looking back at me like how I'm looking at him.

"Do you love Louis more than me Miranda?" He asked again.

I exhale.

"I love Louis. And he was the one who was here for me and not you."

"That's not love at all."

"Oh now you tell me what love is." I cross my arms together.

"You don't love him. You only chose him cos he was there for you and that's not love."

"Shut up." I spit.

"No, I'm not shutting up. You tell yourself you love Louis cos that's what your mind is telling you. But what does your heart say? You force yourself that you love him, that he means everything to you but why do I feel like you're still into me when we're together? Your heart is beating fast when you're with me and don't you lie. Why do you get nervous when I'm around?"

I push him away from me cos I feel like what he's telling me is true, "Back off. You don't know what you're saying."

"I clearly know what I am trying to tell you. You can fool your mind but you can't lie to what your heart says."

"Stop it."

"You tell yourself that you love Louis but honestly you still want me." He says.

"That's not true!"

"You lie too much." He spits.

Harry suddenly cupped both of my cheeks and pulled my face closer to him. His lips landed on mine and he begins to kiss me. My eyes bolted from my sockets when I felt his soft lips on me but I wasn't kissing him back. He's the only one kissing me.

"Harry... S-stop." I say in between his kisses. I push him from his chest but then he holds both of my wrist down.

"The more you tell me to stop, the more you make me want you." He says against my mouth.

My breathing hitched.

Why is that sexy?

"We're not influenced in alcohol now. Yet I still feel the same that night when I kissed you." He says.

"We shouldn't do this."

He runs his thumb over my lips. "Why not?" He asked.

"Because it's wrong."

"But we want this kind of wrongness."