BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 58

FIFTY-SEVEN

M I R A N D A

Why did he do this?

Why does he want to dance with me?

Why does he do unexpected things?

Harry always do things that surprises me. Harry always say words that I never expect him to say or questions that I never expect him to ask.

I hate this and I'm on the verge of choosing to dance with him or not.

I want to. Of course.

But a part of me doesn't because in the middle of the dance, we're going to talk for sure.

I sigh.

I don't want to talk to him. There's nothing left to talk about anyways. What's there left to talk about? Is he gonna explain? Argh! Harry!

And I know I have no choice cos we're already here standing at the center of the dance floor joining the other couples who were also busy.

I sigh again heavier this time.

The band on the stage begins to play their instruments making a beautiful melody. The female singer starts to sway along with the music that they were beginning to play while my heart is pounding pretty damn hard on my chest as I stand at the center of the dance floor with Harry.

His hands makes its way around my waist. He pulls me closer to his body and I feel his warmth on me. Our hands were holding each other to our side but my eyes are staring at his chest. I don't wanna look at him cos I'd probably just.... cry?

Yeah.

Cry.

For the reason that I know you'll no longer be mine.

You were never mine Harry.

"Rose." Harry calls out my name.

I love how his tongue works when he says my last name like that.

We begin to move.

We begin to sway.

We begin to dance.

I hate how he says my name so beautifully painful. It's hurting my ears.

My heart.

My soul.

My mind.

My entire self.

Me.

"Please I'm begging you to look at me Rose." He says.

I can't. I'm too weak to look at you. I inwardly tell myself.

He brushes his thumb on my chin when my back was facing where Louis was. I take a deep breath in and slowly pulled my head up to him. I travelled my eyes to his emerald pair and I've lost the ability to think the moment I laid my eyes on him. But we continued to sway along with the music.

What should I say to him? What should I do?

I'm too confused.

I'm too lost of the moment.

'I look at you looking at me

Feels like a feeling meant to be

And as your body moves with mine

It's like I'm lifted out of time'

I think my throat runs dry when the singer began to sing.

I sigh.

"If you only knew how badly I wanted to stop the wedding." He says to me.

My eyes dilated but I tried to recover. Then you should have but you're a coward. I thought.

'And time again

Patiently I've waited for this

Moment to arrive'

My heart isn't feeling good.

"I wanted to stop it. I really wanted to stop it. I didn't want to say my I Do." He adds.

Harry you're making my heart so confused. I don't wanna hear that. I don't wanna hear those words. I don't wanna hear your regrets. I don't wanna hear you right now. Not here.

This is wrong.

This is so wrong.

'After tonight

Will you remember how sweet and tenderly you reached for me and pulled me closer?

After you go

Will you return to love me?

After tonight begins to fade'

This song is killing me. This song is making me want to cry. This song is adding up to what Harry is doing to me right now. This is very unhealthy. I can't cry in public. I can't cry while dancing with Harry. Louis is here. Louis is watching. I know he's watching us. I know he's getting jealous right now. I can't cry. I can't let my tears fall.

Don't cry Miranda. I reminded myself.

"Rose... Why can't I have you? Why is this happening to us?" He exhales as he slightly bends his forehead close to mine.

"Why can't it be just you and me?" He whimpers as I watch him closing his eyes while saying it.

'I feel your touch caressing me

This feeling's are all l'll ever need

With every kiss from your sweet lips

It's like I'm drifting out of time'

He opens his eyes and looks at me intently. "I love you so much Rose."

I bite my inner cheek.

I love you too Harry. I love you too much it hurts so much as well. I thought to myself.

We just stared at each other's eyes with so much hurt and need that we both know we feel towards each other. I feel the need in his eyes and I know he feels the need behind my eyes while swaying along with the very meaningful and sensual song that reflected us. I feel him gripping tighter on my hips and I try not to react to it cos Louis' piercing blue eyes are darted at me.

I swallowed my saliva hard.

I turned my attention back to Harry as he sways my back again to Louis. Harry's parted lips caught my attention. I want to kiss those lips for the very last time so badly. I wanna kiss him like there's no tomorrow. I wanna hold him tight like he's mine and I wanna love him forever.

But we don't have forever.

"I wanna be with you." He muffles.

I exhale heavily.

Me too Harry. I wanna be with you too. I thought to myself.

Take it easy heart.

Take it easy.

Harry begins to say, "I wanna walk around the public holding your hand with Ben. I wanna watch you walk down the aisle and tell myself I'm the luckiest man alive. I wanna tell you how beautiful you are in the morning when we wake up in one same bed. I wanna do so many things with you if you were with me Rose."

My heart is aching by his painful words. My tears are building fast inside my eyes even though I've been trying so hard to stop them. I quickly bent my head down the same moment it landed on my cheeks as I bite my lower lip and cursed at myself for being stuck in this situation.

"If I was only yours." He whispers to my ears.

My breathing hitched but my tears kept falling and falling.

If you were only mine Harry. I thought.

"Harry..." I muffled softly.

I shake my head sideways while he sneakily wipes my tears.

"We need to stop this." I said.

I exhaled.

"We need to stop saying things like these to each other. We need to stop giving hope to each other because you're already married and I'm going to start having a family with Louis too." I answered him.

"Rose. Don't say that please." He begs.

"No Harry. You need to stop." I spit.

I slowly pulled myself away from him and he's just watching me. We weren't dancing anymore but we were still at the dance floor, standing before each other. I stared at him and began walking away from Harry. I rushed back to the table and felt Audrey's eyes darted at me angrily.

"I just need to go to the bathroom." I kiss Louis' cheek.

"Are you okay love?" He asks.

"Yes. I'm fine." I smiled ruefully and rushed out of the ballroom.

I quickly went looking for the nearest bathroom available and I feel my heart not containing everything that happened on the dance floor. I can't accept what he said to me. My mind is still processing it. He can't say that to me. He shouldn't say that he wanted to stop the wedding. God! My mind is so confused! My heart and my mind is fighting. They're yelling at each other and I don't know who to follow.

"Rose!" I hear Harry chasing me.