BEAUTIFULLY UNFINISHED novel Chapter 60

FIFTY-NINE

L O U I S

I've parked my car right outside the pad where Miranda and I were staying in London. I don't know if I'm ready to face her. I don't know what words I would or should say to her. I'm so mad but I don't want to be mad at her.

I try to calm myself down before stepping out of the car. Niall had brought them home right away when I left the reception and I was glad he did. He said Miranda insisted him to drive him home and so did he. I know she's waiting for me. I know she would explain to me. I just don't want her to explain everything because the fact that she had sex with Harry for the second time totally irks the living hell out of me.

I marched my way to the front door and gathered my thoughts together with me as I entered the foyer. I locked the door behind me and began marching inside.

It was very silent.

I placed my car keys on top of the table and took off the blazer. When I pulled my head up, I see Miranda walking down the staircase. She paused midway when she saw me.

"I..." She trails off. I could tell from her voice that she's nervous. I could tell from her swollen eyes that she cried.

I just stare at her eagerly.

How can you do this to me Rose? I asked myself as I locked my eyes on her.

"I thought I heard you arriving." She says softly.

I exhaled. "I'm home." I said dryly.

She stares at me for a while and I stared back at her but we were just quiet. She begins to walk down the staircase and I just stood here, frozen. My eyes were just looking at her as she slowly but hesitantly walks to me. She reaches for my hand and held it. She held it tight but my hand was just open. I didn't hold her, maybe briefly but it didn't last longer than it used to. She looks at me and I think that she cried before I came here.

"Louis..." She muffles, almost sounding like a whisper.

I readied myself for this.

"I'm... I'm sorry." She cries.

Little tears stared escaping from her eyes. I feel hurt seeing her like this but I feel terribly betrayed and lied on. My eyes were glued on her, I wanted to wipe her tears but I'm too hurt. I don't wanna see her crying like this but she betrayed me. She lied to me. And it hurts terribly bad on my part. My fists curled into a ball. I don't wanna hold her. For some reason when I look at Miranda, I get even more mad at Harry.

"I'm so sorry." She repeats.

"I..." I exhaled.

"I don't know what to say Miranda. I just don't know what to say to you."

She grew quiet.

"I've been nothing but totally honest with you on everything. The entire time I was with you, I was honest. I was sincere and serious with you. I've never done things before like what I did for you but this is what I get in return for giving up my bad ways?" I breathe.

She cries for more but silently. She whimpers as she covers her face with her hands briefly and wipes her own tears as it soaks her face.

"You were the only woman I've taken seriously after what I had with Audrey." My voice cracks as it turns small under my throat.

She looks devastated.

"You knew how scared I was to fall in love again but why did you do this to me?" I asked her as my voice tremble.

She looks back into my eyes with a heavy breathing.

"How could you do this to me Miranda?" I asked.

I brush my fingers through my hair. "I didn't thought you could do this."

She cups both of my cheeks. "I'm so sorry Louis." She says again.

My heart is aching so much. I can't look at her directly into her eyes.

"Do you love Harry?" I asked the disheartening question I didn't ever want to ask her.

But I had to.

She looks at me, confused and troubled. She looks at me apologetically. She looks at me, with so much guilt behind those eyes. I guess I just trusted her too much that she won't do it again with Harry.

I look through her eyes, I'm looking at it for answers. I look through her soul if ever she'll lie to me about this. But she's so hard to read. Her eyes tells me that she does love me but a part of the back of my head tells me that she must have loved Harry too.

"Do you fucking love him, Miranda?" I asked again even though it's hurting me while asking her that once more.

She takes a deep breath in, "I love you. That's all that matters."

I shake my head. "But why? If you love me, why did that happen? Why did you do that? Why did you betray me? Why did you hurt me?"

She takes breathy whimpers.

"Why did you have sex with Harry?!" I yelled.

Her lips tremble and she didn't answer.

I pushed my hair off my face as I feel my entire body shaking in anger.

"Where did I go wrong Miranda?" My tears flooding my eyes.

She sighs and cries again.

"What part of our relationship did I go wrong for you to do this to me? Because I can't seem to find the reason for you to do this." I added.

"You didn't." She sobs softly.

She shakes her head.

"You didn't do anything wrong for me to do this behind your back." She muffles.

Her tears wetting her cheeks. Her eyes were red. Her eyes were swollen. Her words were slurring. Her head shakes sideways continuously.

"I don't know what got into me that night Louis but I swear to God... I swear to God I didn't wanted that to happen between Harry and I. I swear. Trust me." She explains with shaky voice.

"But you did. You had sex with Harry and you can't change that." I spit.

She released my face and wiped her tears. "I know I've made a huge mistake." She admits.

I looked away as more of my tears landed on my cheeks. I exhaled heavily.

"I betrayed you and I know my apologies won't be enough." Her voice trembles.

I wipe my tears from my eyes that was building up behind my eyelids.

"I know you won't trust me again the way you trusted me before after what happened. But I just want you to know that I felt guilty." She cries.

She pulled her head up to me.