Apprehended By My Mate novel Chapter 1

I took the coward way out, I know that, but it was either die or run. I chose to run. I knew he was going to kill us because I failed him. I tried to be what he wanted, give him what he wanted, but even I failed at that. I thought if I gave him what he wanted he would leave me alone, but I was a young naïve girl who fell in love with the wrong guy. At the start he was perfect. I knew he wasn't my mate, but we didn't care. Young and foolishly in love I thought he was my world. Until his true colours came through and I lost all hope.

There was no escape, I was stuck because I believed that deep down he still loved me. Stupid girl I was believed that our love would fix it. Every time he hit me I would tell myself it was because he loved me. Every time he called me worthless or a whore I told myself it was his way of saying I love you.

Over time however I learnt it wasn't love and after a while these things start to wear you out. I gave up hope not only for him, but for myself. I never fought back because I loved him and by the time I realised how stupid I was for believing that I was too scared to leave.

I have grown up a lot from that girl who believe love would fix it all. I believe that love is a myth and doesn't exist inside reality, and if it does all that it involves is pain and abuse. I don't believe that there is a person out there who is your mate, soul mate, destined. Who can heal and fix you. I believe that only you can do that and only you are capable of fixing yourself. What I mostly believe that everyone is out to hurt you weather it is emotionally or physically they will hurt you one way or another.

Something stirs beneath me waking me from what little sleep I had gotten. I glanced around to see where I was to find I was in the same spot I stopped last night. I could feel the bark of the tree against my skin and the wet leaves that surround me. My clothes are wet from the morning dew making my body cold even though it was uncommon for werewolves to get cold. Looking out into the woods my wolf would be screaming for me to let her out and run, but these days I feel her slipping away. I miss the company that my wolf bring and with her slowly slipping away it means that I am fading into nothing. Something stirred beneath me again making me return my attention to my daughter who is waking up.

I glanced down and watch as she opened her big dark eyes. I push the blankets off her head and run my finger through her dark thick curls. I watch as my beautiful baby wakes up and drifts back into a peaceful sleep. I wish I could follow her into her dream state sometimes. I wish I could escape my nightmares that haunt me. I wish I could give her a better life than what we have, because the truth is, we have nothing. We don't have a pack or even a home. We are rogues because we belong to no one. I didn't want this life for my daughter but it was either this or be dead. I remember the night I ran away so clearly as if it was yesterday when in reality it was just over a year ago.

"Can I hold the baby?" I looked to see the wet nurse shake her head at me and stare down at the child with such sadness. When she looked at me I saw tears in her eyes. No. No please, no. She handed the child over to me and I looked down to see my new daughter fast asleep. My vision became cloudy as tears streaked my face. I knew in that moment, while holding my daughter that I had to leave. I knew her fate and I wouldn't allow it to happen, because I love this child even though she was made out of hate and abuse.

The wet nurse took her off me and went to clean her. I laid still for a moment, unable to move because of the extreme pain in my lower region. I knew what was going to happen, he told me so. If I gave him a daughter he said he would kill the bitch so sell her out to other wolf's. He wanted a son but I gave him a daughter. Not thinking about where I was going to go. I climbed out of bed slowly and changed into clean cloths. I grabbed a bag and packed a few essential's that I knew we would need to survive. .

I knew he was gone for the day. He didn't want to be here when I gave birth, so he and his mates took a weekend away to go hunting. My wet nurse came back into the room and I saw her carrying my daughter who was bundled up in layers of clothes and blankets. She looked at the child and gave her a kiss before passing her to me. She knew her fate and gave me a sympathetic smile guesting me towards the door. I grabbed some light blankets and made a neck carry so I could travel with my child as a wolf.