Apprehended By My Mate novel Chapter 19

Conner hasn't tried to kiss me in any form but he does try on occasion to make sure he touches me in the smallest way. Grace has been interacting more with other wolves her age but she still is curious and is always aware of where either Conner or I are.

Conner and I are currently in the kitchen where I am wearing a blue long sleeve dress while cooking him breakfast. I have been up since light came through my window so I decided I would make sure that the house was in perfect shape before starting on breakfast for Conner. I finish making breakfast in silence and I place a plate in front of Conner and wait for him to start eating. I do this every morning. I give Conner his breakfast and wait in silence until he starts and gives me permission to start eating.

"Clare, you don't need me to tell you to eat." He sigh and runs a single hand through his dark hair causing it to stick up all over the place. I take a seat across from and look at him one last time making sure it is ok to eat. He nods his head and when I pick up my fork he begins to eat again. I play around with the food on my plate knowing if I eat anything it will just come back up again. Conner takes note and sighs again.

"Clare, you really need to eat. The more you eat the more your stomach will get used to the idea of food." Conner thinks it is that simple but it has been a long time since I had a full meal three times a day. For Conner's sake I dip my fork into the eggs I cooked taking the smallest bite before swallowing trying to keep it down. My stomach turn and I grip my fork tighter trying to keep the food down. I take another bite and gag as I swallow the eggs. The eggs taste bland and dry causing my throat to burn. No more than a minute later I can feel the food coming back up. I grip the table forcing myself not to be sick again.

A sweat breaks out across my forehead and by breathing become laboured as I try my best not to disobey Conner's order so I take a large sip of water forcing the food back to its place. I can feel Conner watching me as I struggle to keep my food down. When I feel better I let out a sigh. However my peace didn't last long when I jumped out of my seat running to the bathroom expelling all my stomach contents. I start to cry at what a failure I am that I cannot even do one simple task.

"That's right you worthless slut, you could never to anything right. Look at what a mess you are. Your ugly, fat and you deserve no love because you are a loveless person." Derek's voice is inside my head again taunting me like a pest that won't go away no matter how many time you get rid of it.

I just turned 18 about two weeks ago and I was invited out with some friend's to go to a party. I didn't tell Derek about the party because I knew he wouldn't let me out. I finished putting on my final touches making sure that every bruise and scar was covered with a thick layer of make-up. I grabbed my shoes listening to see if Derek was home.

"I have a bad feeling about this." My wolf said to me. She was growing weaker and weaker by the day. 2 years after mating with Derek and I could already see a difference in myself. I have lost a substantial amount of weight but I was still not slim enough, with Derek constantly calling me fat. I knew that what he was doing to me wasn't right and I knew I didn't love him and he didn't love me, but there was no way for me to leave. I was scared that if I told anyone he would kill me. So on these rare occasion when I did go out and someone asked about a healing bruise I would lie and tell them I fell and they would all laugh.