Breaking All the Rules novel Chapter 39

When I pull up at Ian's place the lights were on downstairs and the door was unlocked. I walk in to find Ian sitting on the couch, the pizza box was sitting on the table. "There better still be pizza in there." I tell him eyeing the box.

He flashes me a grin. "I had to fight them off but I managed to save you a couple of pieces."

"You'd better." I sit down next to him and grab a slice of pizza.

"That was fast." He says flashing me those killer dimples.

"What?" I ask right before I take a bite of the cheesy delicious slice of yumminess in my hand.

"You're all dressed up and was over here within twelve minutes. Definitely a first for you."

I shrug innocently. "I told you I had plans tonight."

"What did you girls do?" He asks leaning against the sofa.

I didn't dare correct him and tell him I was with Owen. I know how much he can't stand

him and the last thing I want to do tonight is fight.

"Oh you know, dinner, girl talk, the usual."

He chuckles. "You already ate dinner and now you're eating my pizza?"

"I ate a few hours ago. I'm hungry again." I can tell he's fighting back a grin. "Don't judge me." I tell him before taking a bite.

He throws his hands up. "No judgement. You look hot by the way."

"Thank you." I grin at him and lay the remaining slice back in the box. "So what have you been up to?"

"Just sitting around studying."

I laugh. "Yeah right."

"Really. Coach has been on all of us about our grades lately. I guess he's pissed at his ex-wife and taking it out on us. Anyway, we've all been hitting the books."

"Well if you need a study buddy just ask."

"I'll hold you to that." He warns.

I pick up my pizza and finish off the first piece before offering him the last slice. He shakes his head no. "I saved it for you."

"Hey, Kamdyn." Nick says pausing at the bottom of the stairs. "Didn't think I'd see you here, twice in one night."

"What? What do you mean twice in one night?" Ian asks. "Where else did you see her?"

Nick freezes as if he'd forgotten Ian was sitting there. I met his gaze, pleading silently for

him to keep his mouth shut about Owen. "Oh.....um....I saw her at her place. I was hanging out with Jess. Eww pizza." Owen grabs the last slice and shoves it in his mouth.

"Hey, that was Kamdyn's." Ian says.

Nick offers me the half eaten slice he just bit off of. "No, that's okay. I'm stuffed." I tell him. Nick shrugs before finishing off the pizza in one bite. Geez they eat fast.

"So you and Jess huh?" Ian asks with a grin.

"She's hot." Nick tells him.

"She's going to eat you alive man." Ian tells him.

"Hey." I say smacking his chest. He rubs where I hit him and laughs. "That's my best friend you're talking about."

"Sorry." He grabs my hand and gives it a kiss. "You spending the night?"

"I might." I tell him.

"Just might?" He asks, still holding my hand.

"Yeah. Might."

"What do I have to do to convince you?" He asks me.

"You can have breakfast ready for me in the morning."

"How about I take you to breakfast in the morning?"

I pretend to consider it. "Fine. Deal."

Yeah right, as though I could ever sleep right now. "Yeah."

"Okay." He grabs the remote and turns off the T.V. "Night, Kamdyn."

"Night, Ian." I lay there and stare at his ceiling. I want to tell him so bad but I can't manage to find the courage.

We both lie there in silence, neither of us moving, after a few minutes I'm convinced he's asleep. Guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to tell him. I let out a sigh, there is no way I'm getting any sleep tonight.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Ian asks, his voice makes me jump.

"Nothing."

"Come on, just tell me, you've been weird since you got here."

"I'm not being weird." I tell him.

"Then come over here and cuddle with me." He says challengingly.

I scoot closer to him and the feel of his warm body against mine instantly makes me relax. He kisses my forehead and holds me tighter against him. "There, that's better." He says. "You've been so tense."

"I'm sorry." I snuggle into his chest. He feels so amazing against me.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Really. I just....." I sigh. "Just forget it."

"I'm here, if you ever need to talk."

"I know."

He kisses my hair. "Then tell me."

I hide my face in his hard chest. "It's kind of embarrassing."

"I won't laugh I promise."

So he says but he might laugh. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he laughs. Being in a relationship is probably the funniest thing he'll ever hear. I don't know what I was thinking. "Just forget it." I tell him. I wrap my arm around his waist. I love him so much it hurts but I'm too scared of losing him forever to ever be able to tell him that. Is being his friend with benefits really that awful? We get along great and he makes me happy. Maybe I should've just been content with what we had instead of wanting more. Then the thought of him being with other women reminded me why I wanted to be in a relationship in the first place. I don't want to share him. I want him all to myself.