Apprehended By My Mate novel Chapter 64

My anxiety is having a ball as it bounces all around my body like a pinball machine. Whenever there is anxiety there is always panic. I don't want to explain to Dad but I know he is going to ask.

"You know he is going to want to know about everything. I don't think I can I don't think I can-" Conner gently places a finger on my lips to stop talking.

"I am here Clare if you need to lean on me then do so. I will be strong for you. If you ever feel like hurting yourself come to me ok, I am here for you." He removes his finger as his lips press softly against mine.

"Ok." We both nod before walking into what is my definition of hell.

We have been sitting in silence for 20 minutes know no one saying a word. Conner has his hand in mine and I have a tight grip on him. My father keeps looking from me to Grace, to Conner then back to me. My father clears his voice to say something but doesn't.

"I need to go but you can stay here as long as you want." Felix gets up and leaves leaving just Dad, Conner, Grace and I. we sit in silence again before my father talks.

"Is she yours?" He ask even though he knows then answer.

"Yes." I whisper not sure what else I am meant to say.

"Who is the father?" I close my eyes and I can feel Conner squeeze my hand. I go to say his name but I can't if I say that he is Grace's dad out loud it makes it real.

"I can't." I look at Conner and he nods his head.

I knew it was coming but that was the final straw. I couldn't cope, the urge to die was so strong that I would do anything to no longer be here. I wish I would stop breathing, I wish that it would all just end. The pain, the suffering, I can no longer cope with it all anymore. I just wanted it all to end.

"Conner, I am not right." I say and I watch him drop Grace onto the lounge and rush over to where I am standing.

"I am here Clare." I shake my head at him.

"I want it all to end Conner, please make it all end, I don't want to be in pain anymore." I cry and I watch as a few tears fall onto Conner's face. He grabs my face softly and presses his lips to my head.

"It's going to be ok. We will get through this but we are going to have to put you to sleep ok. When you wake in the morning you will be feeling better." He whispers and I nod my head. He picks me up and carries me out the room into ours. He places me gently on the bed and tucks me in. the doctor is also in the room and I see her coming over with a syringe filled with liquid.